WHAT’S UP?

If you are ready for some real talk, then you came to the right place.  As much as I enjoy a good laugh or a quirky story, I am very serious when it comes to mental health.  In fact, my penchant for humor is one of my coping mechanisms – an important one.

I am on a personal mental health crusade.

I donate to the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline to help with management of the lifeline including bringing awareness to those who might be in crisis.

Calling the number is a START……Calling is PRIVATE……Calling is a CHOICE.

Lifeline number to call or text is: 988
Their site: https://988lifeline.org/

WHY MY CRUSADE?
I have been affected by mental illness in my life. I have friends and family members with varied illnesses plus I have seen and been personally affected by the consequences of suicide. Yes, I have seen the light go out in people. Also, scarily, I’ve stared into the abyss myself.  Having teetered on the edge more times than I can recall, I have repeatedly chosen not to succumb. And now, I inhabit a healthier place. I know the pervasive and deep pain felt by someone considering suicide as well as the devastating consequences for the survivors or those left behind.

I want to help……I am only one person…….also, it may only take one person.

I BELIEVE A HEALTHY MENTALITY IS POSSIBLE WITH HONESTY, RESEARCH, PERSEVERANCE AND REFLECTION. Having a mental condition does not carry the stigma it once did thankfully, and I believe it can be better understood if more people speak honestly and openly about it. Not just doctors, those of us who’ve lived around mental illness and survived despite the evil experiences and social quietness of what we’ve experienced.  Is there room for honest and polite discussion of these serious issues? I think there is.

I myself live with depression. Some days I am very happy and other days leave me listless, vexed as to what my purpose is, or angry that I even woke up. I actively journal, battle my mental demons by researching techniques for dealing with the feelings I have, and I see a counselor on a regular basis. I try to practice gratitude in the here and now of my life. I’ve incorporated goal-seeking and relishing achievements back into my life after years of battling negativity from within; now I understand more about myself. That’s not to say things are wonderful now; but it is to say that I’ve figured out how to live with my depressive thoughts and in some cases turn them around or see reason in the decisions I made in the past. These things seem easy, but they are NOT…and they take a lot of energy and courage to maintain. Many people do not understand me, but I have come to accept that I no longer need them to understand me because I have cultivated a circle of friends who mostly understand me. It took time to build these relationships and I value each dearly. Honestly there are things about me that I in fact do not understand; so how can I expect it of others? I have learned that I must try to accept the love received from others who willingly give it and sometimes that even means reminding myself that I must do this.

Some of my favorite people have committed suicide and that is why I decided to start donating to the Lifeline. When I’m feeling tortured by life, I often seek escape through movies, music, art and cooking as a way of mentally travelling away. But when suicide crept into my escape and some of my favorite people in those realms killed themselves (at all different stages of their lives – young and old), it made me decide to do something. I know I cannot do much, but I can do something, and I am doing the best that I can right now which is all I can expect from myself.

If you know someone who is struggling, then please talk with them. Speak frankly and kindly to communicate your concern and love. Really…please talk with them. Knowing that a loved one is struggling is a gift in my opinion because you can join them in their fight and hopefully help them (if only by their knowing you’re steadfastly sitting in the dark with them). It will not be easy; but hey, they are still here…so be brave. Be the one to ask them if they are considering suicide because honesty is going to be your biggest ally and your truest currency. Be bold and ask. Talk to them now before they do something drastic. You don’t have to have all the answers to help them either, you can help them seek answers and people who can help. You can also spend time with them – even time on the phone because sometimes we all just need another person to be there for us, even though we push those who care away. Communicate your love and the fact that you are here for them. Spending time together doesn’t have to include solving all of their problems; in fact, I find solace in spending time with my closest confidantes while NOT talking about the darkest things. The fact that life is happening for those I love and feeling included in plans to do things brings me joy.

Many people are dealing with problems that we do not know about. Inside that battle with those problems is a very lonely place where there are a lot of questions and not a lot of answers. There are a lot of fears and many thoughts while wondering how to navigate difficult situations – often involving loved ones which makes it exceedingly more difficult.

If you yourself are struggling, then please talk with someone.  And even if you’re not at the point of wanting to end your life, talking with someone can get you the help you need to get out of toxic thinking. Mental illness is a brain in need of help – a sick brain; so, in my view you should not depend only on that same brain to figure out how to fix the issue.  Speaking with another person will start you down the path of finding the help your brain needs.  I know you might prefer not talking and you just want things to get better or for a particular situation to just end. Unfortunately, you are going to have to engage in your own health as difficult as it is now – and will be in the future.

You can make a difference for yourself. You are strong.

When you’re honest with yourself, then you know that things are not going to magically fix themselves. Hang in there and know that people do care about you, but you might have to give them tasks or specific requests because they might not know how to help you. I know it can be difficult to say your thoughts out loud or to tell someone close to you, but you can also tell a complete stranger and get some help privately. The professionals who work in the mental health field understand so much about the different conditions and they have a lot of resources they can recommend like websites, books, articles, doctors, groups, etc. to get you started on the path of honestly researching and understanding your own struggles…and how to cope with them. These professionals are caring people the likes of possibly no one you have met yet. That being said, there are also some professionals who unequivocally, totally suck. I had to finally find a counselor who was good for me. You can find someone who can help you too. Hang in there and know that they are out there waiting to meet you and wanting to help you.

The first step is talking with someone – friend or stranger. It doesn’t matter because this is about you.

Love, Rhonda

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Lifeline number to call or text is: 988
Their site: https://988lifeline.org/

This Suicide & Crisis Lifeline was formerly known as The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline and their number is still 1-800-273-8255.  They worked tirelessly for years to get the 988 number that anyone can call or text to get help quickly.  This is that big of an issue.